9 Funny Cat Quotes and Sayings

9 Funny Cat Quotes and Sayings Graphic

Let’s face it… Cat’s can be unintentionally hilarious!  That’s why I gathered the top nine funny cat quotes and sayings for your amusement.

Just because this is a site about a very serious topic does NOT mean we can’t poke fun at some things, even our beloved feline friends!

Side note: I have a new kitten foster! Follow me on Instagram (or elsewhere) to see videos and pictures of the new girl I named Oreo! The links can be found in the right sidebar of my site!

Now, onto the quotes!

9 Funny Cat Quotes and Sayings

“Cats rule the world.”

Jim Davis, Cartoonist

Cats rule the world graphic

I love Garfield and I love the cartoonist’s quotes as well. They’re always great!

“In ancient times, cats were worshipped as gods; they have not forgotten this.”

Terry Pratchett, Author

We all know that cat. I don’t have a god or goddess cat currently, as most of mine don’t even have dignity right now. But I bet you can name one this quote fits perfectly. Right?

“Owners of dogs will have noticed that, if you provide them with food and water and shelter and affection, they will think you are God. Whereas owners of cats are compelled to realize that, if you provide them with food and water and affection, they draw the conclusion that they are God.”

Christopher Hitchens, Author

Hmmm, this one probably goes along with the other quote, but it’s so dang true! Dogs do think we are their god. Cats think THEY are!

“The problem with cats is that they get the exact same look on their face whether they see a moth or an axe-murderer.”

Paula Poundstone, Comedian

I haven’t tested this, but it’s likely true! Hee. Especially some of my crew!

“Cats are connoisseurs of comfort.”

James Harriot, Veterinarian

Cats are connoisseurs of comfort quote graphic.

Truth! Every single one of my furry monsters love the warmest spots, the softest blankets, and insist on sleeping wherever they feel like it. Including my dang laptop stand!

“I had been told that the training procedure with cats was difficult. It’s not. Mine had me trained in two days.”

Bill dana, Comedian

Been there, done that. My cats trained me, not the other way around! I’ve got them trained to follow me around the barns. That’s their choice, though. I didn’t try to train them!

“Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.”

Robert A. Heinlein, Author

Women and cats will do what they please quote graphic.

Interestingly enough, this might be exactly why most cat lovers are women. This might also why I find men who love cats sexy as all get out. Because they obviously have taste and understanding to let a cat be a cat and do what she wants!

“When my cats aren’t happy, I’m not happy. Not because I care about their mood but because I know they’re just sitting there thinking up ways to get even.”

Percy Bysshe Shelley, Poet

This one cracks me up. I did have a cat that was EXACTLY like this. She was evil incarnate and would literally exact vengeance for every single time you moved her off a counter. She attacked and ignored me for a whole month after I returned from a 10-day vacation. She was okay and being kitty-sat by a friend. But she was MAD. Spitting mad.

This quote makes me miss her all over again. I love you and miss you, Luna.

“Cats have a scam going – you buy the food, they eat the food, they go away; that’s the deal.”

Eddie Izzard, Actor

I picked this one to round us off with funny cat quotes and sayings because it fits those of us who care for cat colonies. Sometimes it DOES feel like they’re totally scamming us into feeding them and then they vanish, most too unsocialized to want love or attention in the form of physical affection.

But sometimes just one look in their eyes and you know their life has been hard and they depend on you for that food. They feel safe enough to come to eat from you daily.

They may not welcome touch, but they love us just as much.

Ferals are worth saving, too!


So I had to do a bonus section with a couple more funny cat quotes! I couldn’t help it, I had so much fun with this one!

“I read that when cats are cuddling and kneading you, and you think it’s cute, they’re really just checking your vitals for weak spots.”

Kandyse McClure, Actress

This quote cracks me up. We know this is untrue and most of us find it adorable because we know they do this to mimic nursing from mom. It’s safety and affection and comforting to them.

However, some cats… you don’t know, right?

“The more cats you have, the longer you live. If you have a hundred cats, you’ll live 10 times longer than if you have 10. Someday this will be discovered, and people will have a thousand cats and live forever. It’s truly ridiculous.”

Charles Bukowski, Poet

Don’t we WISH this were true? Maybe we should pass this rumor around, maybe more people will be open to adopting and caring for cats!

“I’ve always been mad about cats.”

Vivien Leigh, Actress

What a coincidence! Me too!


Do you have a favorite funny cat quote or saying you would like to share? Leave me a comment below!


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    1. Ooooh! That is definitely a great saying. It’s not attributed to anyone, I believe. Just a saying people use, kind of like “No use crying over spilled milk.” Everyone says it, no one knows who first coined it. But thanks so much!

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